The Book Butcher: 10 Ways to Stick it To Your Librarian

Real men read... did you know that? The really-real men read to their kids. Do you know how I know that? My dad read to me- every single night until I was in fifth grade and #2, The Dad from ReadAloudDad.com says so. He is the father of twins, so he does double the reading that most dads do! He reviews books on his website- have you ever read one of his reviews? They are written with the utmost attention to detail. I can only imagine that it takes him hours to produce a single review... for example: My Father's Dragon. By the time you finished reading his review, you know that you best get up, get in the car and go to the nearest book store and buy every book he mentioned. And then, you better read them to your kids. The Dad is a fabulous advocate for getting dads involved in the lives of their children. He gives statistics, shares articles, gives tips and just encourages men to read to their children. He has been the most loyal follower of Book Talk Tuesday. His words of encouragement and support have helped me continue to put out my very best work. He is a vital part of my online learning community... thank you for your wisdom and support.

Little known fact, The Dad and I are Blogging Twins! He started his blog 1 year ago this month as well! HAPPY BIRTHDAY READALOUD DAD!

You are a force to be reckoned with, my friend! And, I will not hold this post against you.

Addy, Erika, stop reading now. : )

Top 10 Ways To Get Even With Your Librarian And Not Get Caught

Enough with the sweet talk.

We all know that school librarians have it in for us.

Why else would they work at schools? I mean, really?

And why do teachers always send kids to libraries?

Apparently, there is some secret deal that is hidden from our eyes.

It is high time to strike at the very heart of this closest of alliances.

Kids, let us work together to dismantle this holy alliance, this 'special relationship' that sprang up between these two special interest groups: teachers and librarians.

Read Aloud Dad now wishes to share with kids secrets that have taken me years, even decades to compile.

Some of them might seem funny and some are downright cruel.

These are all original ideas and pranks that will help you to strike at the very heart of this terrifying partnership: librarians.

And if you want to use the advice given below, please never, NEVER acknowledge the source.

1. Librarians enjoy relaxing at work, so make their life a misery. Go to the library as often as you can and spend there as much time as possible.

2. There is nothing that librarians enjoy more than collecting overdue fines. So keep their pockets empty by returning books on the due date or earlier. Make a point of bringing books back on time and see how the smiles on their faces melt away. Revenge is a dish best served early.

3. Don't check out just the most popular books. Oh, no. Ask your librarian to recommend some books based on your interests. That will make them sweat. And keep at it, never give up until you are completely sure that you checked out all the books penned by your favorite author. Librarians are there to serve your every little whim.

4. Read your librarian's blog and tell him/her that you read it. Discuss previous posts and why you liked them. But don't forget to say the following sentence: "I can't wait to read your next post. I am sure it will be awesome!" Pile on the pressure.

5. Read periodicals at the library. You know how much librarians enjoy maintaining order. Well, if you read as many periodicals as possible - this order will be jeopardized. Alas, sometimes magazines are not returned to the very same place where they were found. It is as simple as that.

6. Attend all activities at the library. Book signings, read aloud sessions, theme projects, contests, computer activities. The more you attend, the more organization skills, chairs, table moving, preparation, cleaning up will be required from the librarian. Need I say more?

7. Ask your librarian to explain the details of the Dewey system for classifying books and how knowing about it can help you find your way around the library. This system organizes books on library shelves in a specific and repeatable order that makes it easy to find any book and return it to its proper place. After listening carefully to the explanation, ask how come only Dewey thought of a book classification system and not Huey and Louie? Enjoy the bitter smile.

8. Ask your parents to read aloud to you daily. This way you will need a constant inflow of books and there is no better source of books than your school library. This is a double whammy - the more your parents have to devote time to you, the harder your librarian has to work. Some things are just too easy.

9. Offer your school librarian to help out with odd jobs inside the library if necessary. The more time you spend in the library, the less time your librarian will have to play BookVille on Facebook. Or was it LibraryVille? Doesn't matter.

10. Find out your librarian's birthday and tell all your classmates. Oh yeah, and you can band together to buy him/her a surprise present in the name of the entire class. (Just don't forget to send your librarian a list with the names of all the kids in your class and their birthdays ... with a list of preferred toys).