At the Lemme Library, we have banned reading. I discovered after reading (ironically) an extensive study that reading is dangerous.
Reading can open your mind to new ideas and opinions. Reading can expose you to different cultures, beliefs and worlds. It has also been discovered that reading can make you smarter- yes, smarter.
If you read, you might do well in school. And, if you do well in school, you may go to college, where you will be forced to read and then you will get a good job.
I have learned from my own experience that reading to children can be particularly dangerous. Reading has been known to make children think... and laugh... and wonder. All of this, left to untrained professionals can lead to very volatile situations. Happy, productive, imaginative and creative children? That is why I have decided to do away with books in the Lemme Library.
From now on, I will offer Redbox video rentals and video game rental.
It is important that we all stand together on this issue. You should probably stop reading this blog post and watch tv. Or nap.